Struggling in the corners of my mind I try to figure this out
Confusion strengthens; as the cloud appears I hide.
Do I want to know? Should I know?
Do I want to pop this balloon of bliss and have nothing anymore?
But I must know. It’s imperative that I do.
It’s imperative that I know what is likely to be before I take another step.
I like the slowness of everything
I don’t want it to change.
But are we slowly moving towards that which we will quickly back away from?
This is serious.
Not like other simple tasks with jesters of reality; but quite serious.
A man of his words that echo through the night and breathes deeply in the morning.
I bleed my thoughts on paper the only way I know how as I languish the thought of expecting favour.
The only thing on my mind is why did you do this again?
Until a quiet voice said, “He is not him.”
My heart quickened then slowed to the stillness it needs
Then quickens again when I asked, “what does that even mean for me?”
As the terror sets in and the waves slow the question that lingers is…”What if he chooses me?”
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