Womanhood · August 8, 2023

The Toil

We find ourselves in mental toil each day trying to make sense of it all.

When it comes to the point of asking “What am I to learn from this?”

You know things have changed.

The constant disappointment and unreliability of one will make the tables turn

but the point when you realize that you have to choose and choose for yourself breaks you a little.

Spending years hoping that things will eventually be different,

Deciding not to let go because you think things will be different…eventually.

Leads you to the question ‘Why?’

You never chose this. It chose you.

You never wanted this life. It chose you.

So Why?

What are you supposed to be learning that you just aren’t getting?

What is there that you are supposed to be avoiding that you keep crashing into?

Why does accepting hurt when it should bring peace?

Why do you want to lock away mentally and stay in a daze until it passes?

Why do you have to learn anything at all?

What are you being prepared for, if anything at all?

When will the reality hit that you couldn’t have mattered initially if the pattern remains the same?

The responsibility that falls on you is for you alone to bear.

The darkness that comes with it is for your braces to carry.

The selflessness that it requires is seeping into your skin and intoxicating you.

You want to let go but it won’t let you.

You want to breathe but it won’t let you.

You want to scream but your throat is parched and the simplest thing will set it ablaze.

Your life isn’t yours because you are created to leave indelible marks.

Your journey is yours before you were born.

Take the reigns and follow through because…

What else are you going to do?

error: Content is protected !!