How soon is too soon to say I enjoy talking with you?
That I will spend hours on the phone ignoring everyone else just to remain connected.
How soon is too soon for me to tell you I light up when your name pops up on my screen?
How soon is too soon to let you know how I feel?
Granted I’m still working through these emotions, but the overthinker in me is creating all these delusions.
Your laughter and your comedic style are like no other.
I picture your face when you smile and it sets off a tingle in me that drives me wild.
How soon is too soon to say I look forward to hearing from you but I can’t call you too soon because I need to know that what is growing in me is true?
How soon is too soon to think about spending more than just mere moments with you?
As the night falls or the day breaks I think about you.
Being on my mind is not a game for toddlers.
Being on my mind is my truest currency.
You have consumed this legal tender, making me yearn to surrender.
How soon is too soon to say I wish I had you for myself?
That I never wanted this arrangement.
That when I saw you my mind went off the rails.
But I never thought of you as anyone who would see me.
I don’t even really know if you do.
We lie to ourselves every day,
Hoping no one sees our pain.
We take for granted that which should be treasured,
Not knowing how much is being measured.
The deep-seated pain and guilt that float to our surface drain our souls and calmly float their way to our hearts.
The trauma of letting go of the comfort of our pain, willing ourselves to find peace and love again.
Knowing very well that this is a hit-and-miss because for love to find you again you may have to go searching for it.
So back to you baby,
how soon is too soon for the lights to go out in my head, giving birth to a life that has only been leaving me on read?
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