Your essence pulls me in the direction of protection and keen care.
I sink into you every time you are close.
I pine for you when you are far away.
I crave you in a way that I want to keep you safe.
Take your heart into mine and make you understand what I have been building in me for you.
The push and pull of you has me wondering at times if you want to keep playing this game, or if you will let me score and end it.
The push and pull of you is enigmatic and magnetic.
Seeing you soaring above majestically makes my heart smile because I see you.
I think about you and a smile forms on my face.
Your warmth sends my mind running ten steps ahead only to stop at a familiar impasse that left me broken before.
I reach for you.
I want to reach out to you.
I want to trust and lay it down again but I am stuck at the impasse of my past.
I am stuck on how we started not wanting anything from the other…
It’s safe not to want anything.
It protects you from getting hurt and shields your heart from catastrophic pain.
Allowing ourselves not to want and not to desire anything takes us to the resting place of a cocoon we spent years weaving, cushioned with a feathery bed that is slowly leaking.
I don’t want to want you. I didn’t even want to like you.
And that’s because I know me.
We are better off on an unprecedented journey that we so aimlessly traverse through life.
Never to meet at the same spot again.
Never to connect again.
But then my heart gets a glimpse of my mind and reality hits.
I am not afraid that things won’t work out.
I am afraid that they might.
The glow that bends and breaks makes me realize my heart and soul are here for you to take.
I find ‘neath the wandering stars my desire for peace is in your arms.
So take these moments in your palm and treasure this feeling for it won’t last.
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