Womanhood · September 12, 2024

What do you want?

Echoing in my ears are the uncertainties of tomorrow.

Bellowing in my depths are the joys that could’ve been but never were.

I hear the voice in my head repeat: What do you want?

I allowed my thoughts to linger, as the taste of you simmered in my mind…

No, I can’t think about you now.

Well, not in that way…

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

Ok. I will tell you.

I want the sweet aroma of morning coffee breaking through the air, sensitizing my nostrils that I am not alone and he is near.

I want the rain beating against my window as my laughter coincides with the music that comes in tow.

I want the passionate hug and squeeze from behind, that kiss and nibble on my ear that tells me ‘you are mine‘ no matter the day or the time.

I want the late nights sitting in bed reading with his head in my lap as he dozes off sweetly knowing I got him and we won’t fall apart.

I want the long stroll after a spontaneous picnic where all we do is admire and enjoy nature in all its beauty. NO sound. Just that from our feet as it meets the ground.

The tentative laughter and the smell of salt water as it crashes against the shore.

I want to want him. I want to need him. I want to feel all of him. I want to see him in all his naked glory. Granted I know he is beautiful but I want that part of him that no one else gets. I want to know him in a way where our souls intertwine and the breath on my lips is left there by his smoldering kiss.

His captivating and all-consuming presence has me bound at an impasse. I want to want him. I want to need him.

so now that I have answered your question, can you give me what I want?

Can you give me a love that true stories and movies are written about?

Can you grant me that intimacy and passion that my heart longs for from one?

One person. One heart. One face. One body. One smile. One forever.

Can you tell me that without a doubt there is that possibility and my heart will soar beyond the hills of eagles to a nesting place that my one and I will only be?

Can you promise me that no matter what, as long as I hold out I will get that one…to give all this love bottled up inside, consuming and devouring me?

Can you give me surety?

I doubt that.

The woes of life are intricate and we know it.

The battles we’ve fought and the ones we’ve lost.

I know my pain. We are one and the same.

I don’t extend my heart to a place beyond its limit because that’s how you get trampled by the scoundrels on the morrow.

I may want to want him or want to need him, but the woes of life never truly go my way.

The other shoe will likely fall, and there it goes midnight and all.

The depth to which I want to go is beyond what anyone else could truly imagine

So if he is to be with me in tow, with my hand outstretch he can lead as I follow.

 

Eureka: I know what I want. I want to be in LOVE again.

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