I Write

I write.

I write because it opens me up.

I write because I am the only one that understands me.

I write to keep the negative thoughts at bay.

Do you know how hard that is?

To do the opposite of what’s easy?

I write because it’s the only way I can kill you, yet keep you alive.

I write because it’s in my memories that your smiles are bright.

I write because I will never forget that controlled smile.

It will live with me forever.

I write because I want to understand you.

Understand your choice when I know it’s been a different story.

I write because I want you out of my head.

I write because it’s my only release…

the only form that satiates me,

the only form that breaks me, puts me to stand and see you for who you are.

I write because I see you when I do.

I write because it’s the only way to know I could love you.

I write because you will never see these words, hear my thoughts

or feel my fingers in your most sensitive places.

I write because I feel you when I think

I feel you when I smile

I feel you when my body goes rigid and my thoughts are frozen

you thaw me out and let my cells remember.

Remember you; for just as there is night, there is day

Remember you because I see you in a way I have no business seeing anyone.

Remember you because I wish you could see yourself the way I do.

So…I write…

I write because that’s all I can do not to cry.

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