Is it just me or is this pandemic letting us realize the love/hate relationship we have with our kids. Don’t get me wrong, I am as best a mom as I can be, juggling, work, school, and taking care of a five-year-old. For the past five years it’s been just me and my son…well my sister has been there too. Not a choice of mine, but circumstances and situations tend to set us on particular paths on which we have no business. To give you a quick background on who I am. I am a “single” mother of a now five-year-old boy. His dad doesn’t like when I say that except it’s the physical truth. He has been living in another country since our son was one year old. So now that you have a basic idea of my situation I will now get into the purpose of this post. The Fucking Pandemic. Before the pandemic, I had no idea I could experience annoyance and mental tiredness from raising a child (actually I knew, but I wasn’t feeling it). I would do anything to spend time with him. We would play and run around any chance I got. The coronavirus pandemic has taught me things about myself that had anyone prophesied I would’ve said “Lies. All lies.” Did you ever notice that your kid spend most of their time away from home? I didn’t notice it and I am a freaking teacher. I used to say children spend most of their time at school not realizing that went for my child too. So before this whole corona disaster, I was working from home. I was living my “best life”. I would get up in the mornings and get my son ready for school. The driver would pick him up at 7:30 am and as soon as the car leaves, I run into the house, bolt the grill, find my bed, turn on the fan and dive full body under the covers. These days, I look forward to getting up before he does just so I can get some quiet time. I know this might sound mean, but I think I am saying what all us moms especially single moms are thinking. I understand what you are going through. I understand the desired moments of no sound in the house for even just a minute. Some moments where we sit and do nothing where the words “mom, mother, mommy, mummy” are never heard.
As I now ponder and feel this peace wash over my mind I can hear those words being uttered but more in an “I love you mommy” and “you’re the bestest mommy in the whole world.” I love my baby boy endlessly and I would do or give any amount of time just to see his face light up with a smile. So my post’s ending contradicts the post’s purpose, but I believe that all the mothers out there will appreciate the back and forth rambling because we can all attest to it. The multifunctionality that our brain possesses doesn’t allow us to have a one-track mind. It allows us to be consumed by our thoughts and the impervious nature of our surroundings so that when a mother rambles, her brain’s going 200km/sec. And that’s the contributing faculty that makes us who we are.
Recent Comments