Wrapping me in its warmth,
The wings of a blackbird, inviting and calm.
I sink deeper into the fold and feel myself let go.
I wonder what normal feels like in a low vibrational state.
I wonder what normal is for the mind that goes too far.
I wonder what normal does to the life that burns to dust.
I wonder no longer because this is my normal.
I desire the darkness.
I pant for it.
I pull my energy from the strength beyond the unknown.
Freedom beckons with a glimmering light that only I can see and understand.
I want to reach for the light but the dark is so comfy I want to stay enveloped within
I want the light to break through and take me but I feel so dead within,
so numb, scared, and tainted.
The darkness understands me.
It feeds me.
It sees me.
It desires me.
I learn from it what I am sure the light cannot teach me.
I want to embrace who I am and what I ought to become.
The thoughts in my head are causing me to come undone.
I will shed this shrouded frame and walk boldly into the graphics of who I should be.
Taunted and teased by the desires of the dark I want to allow it to take me over.
I am tired of fighting.
I am tired of searching.
Weeping.
Mourning.
Grieving my losses.
Telling myself I am who I am not.
I am tired.
And if only they’d see.
If only you’d see, or even care enough to look.
Taken in by your own situation and struggles you cannot see anything else but you.
I am drowning.
I am grasping onto the tastelessness that life has to offer because it’s what I should do…yet not what I want to do.
The Darkness keeps me safe.
Safe in my head.
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